Why am I still Single

I’ve encountered people who ask me that question very often but I never answered them seriously. I always replied them with “I’m busy with my career” or “I’m happy as a single person” with LOL on the side. I dated different men for how many years and I had boyfriends before but it didn’t work out in our favour.  Truth is there are reasons why I am single but I didn’t bother to explain it to them because I wanted to keep it to myself and I feel like they won’t understand it plus it will be just a waste of time and effort and to be honest, I don’t know if these reasons are going to change but I believe that there are reasons for everything. Anyhow, these are my hard reasons:

  • Trust Issues

I’ve experienced a lot about relationships, I mean A LOT. It’s not easy and it is mostly bad experiences but I don’t regret any of it because I learned something from it, I learned something about myself and about the person and I always get close to God which is the important thing. I am scared because I’ve been in a situation where I was so emotionally hurt by someone I once loved. We all experience it at some point of our lives but mine is every single guy I’m in a relationship with ended up because of infidelity. I’m scared because I feel like the next one will going to cheat on me because it’s mostly what other guys did to me. I easily get attached to someone who will just show some interest on me and turns out that they’re just not into me or they’re just playing. I fell in love with someone who already has a girlfriend and I had no idea about it. I used to love someone who cheated on me and I found out that he got another girl pregnant. I trusted them but I’m betrayed, I gave my heart and love to them but they broke them into tiny little pieces. I forgive them anyway not because they deserve to be forgiven but because I deserve to free from hurt and the pain of the past but the experience also gave me something, trauma and fear. I am in trauma and I’m scared to try to be in a relationship again.

  • Tired of Relationship

I’m sick and tired of it, everything about it. In fact, whenever I think or hear the word “relationship” all I can think of are CHEATING, INFIDELITY, DISHONESTY and many other negative things. Sure thing it really feels good to love and be loved by someone in return but I’ve experienced and heard enough to avoid relationships. I’m tired of giving love, time and effort into a relationship where the man doesn’t give a shit about it anyway. I’m so tired of the same cycle of it which usually end up with a break up then I will feel hurt and lost in the end and then there goes the moving on part which is the hardest f*cking part. I am just so tired which resulted to the next reason

  • I CHOSE to be single

It’s not like I don’t have any options but I chose not to be in a relationship with a guy.  I think it’s better to be single than to settle for anything less than what I deserve. I may have high standards but it’s better than to lower my standards for the sake of having a relationship with some guy. I chose to love myself more, enjoy life alone and avoid complications that any relationships will give. I am content and happy with my relationship status now, I have my friends and family with me, so why look for a relationship? I am honestly busy focusing with my career and my future and I have no time for bullshit relationships right now. I am young and I chose not to rush into relationships that are not worth it even though this world is saying that being in a relationship is happier than being single, which is sooooo NOT TRUE. I chose to be independent woman, I can do things what men can do and I don’t need a man to do it for me. I can handle my own shit and will continue to do it throughout my life.

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